It is the terrorism stupid... a satire

I have seen the light and I am born again. Instead of a pampered and pompous frat-boy; instead of an arrogant prick; instead of an Emperor with no clothes, I now see President George W. Bush for what he is: the military genius of our times. It's time to repeal the 22nd Amendment and make George W. Bush our President for Life.

The final epiphany came last night during Bush's historical speech about our victory strategy in Iraq. The realization had been dawning for a few weeks while listening to the White House spin; but last night during his brilliant, concise and courageous lesson to us all I had the A-HA! Moment; cementing my faith in Bush's unparalleled genius.

It's the Terrorism, stupid!

Enquiring minds will like to know why we invaded Iraq? It wasn't about WMDs. We know that. The whole WMD thing was a big, fat lie, er, uh a little fib to get us where He (bush) wanted us to go. I used to be mad about the deception that got us into war. But now I see the grand strategy. George Bush is a geo-strategic, chess playing genius that makes Zbigniew Brzezinski, Samuel Huntington and Henry Kissinger look like the Three Stooges

Ok, let's be honest, lies are sometimes necessary; especially in a democracy. After all it was Plato who said,

The rulers of the state are the only persons who ought to have the privilege of
lying, either at home or abroad; they may be allowed to lie for the good of the
state.

And certainly we didn't go to war in Iraq just to get rid of that old evil dictator, Saddam Hussein. Hell, we put him there in the first place. Plus we armed him to the teeth for his war with Iran..
And it certainly wasn't about liberating the Iraqi people and spreading Democracy. We only do that in fairy tales and storybooks, not in real life. In real life we go, we take, we use and then we leave. Usually leaving the place we've been in ruins.

And the war can't be about Oil. We don't need no stinking oil. We've got plenty. Otherwise, why doesn't the new energy bill emerging from a Republican Congress demand we drill in the ANWR? Why isn't the administration making a stink, like Lou Dobbs on CNN about China taking over Unocal? Why don't we ban gas-guzzling SUVs? No, don't let those pesky energy worrywarts fool you. We've got plenty of oil in the pipeline for years to come.
So if the War in Iraq wasn't about WMDs or Saddam or oil or liberty, then what is the war in Iraq about? The terrorists, stupid! How many times do I have to pinch myself when I come to that realization?

That was what Bush is saying right out. In his Speech at Ft. Bragg, Bush used the word(s) terror/terrorists/insurgents or `they' to refer directly to terrorists more than 50 times in 30 minutes. He only used 9/11 about five times, but we know with a wink and a nod what he means. 911 equals terrorism.

And now, in a place where there was no terrorism before the war in Iraq, we've got suicide jihadists streaming into Iraq from all over the world. We've got them all in one place. We've got them right where we want them. And when we get them all in Iraq as part of our master plan, the annihilation of terrorist will begin.

We've got the Kurdish army in the north, we've got the Shia army in the South and we've got the Israelis ready to rout Hezbollah out of Southern Lebanon, back through the Bekka Valley all the way to Damascus. Finally, we've got ourselves, the most awesome fighting machine in the history of the world right in the middle with our precision guided weaponry, smart bombs, napalm, depleted uranium and bunker busters. It's genius I tell you. The terrorists don't have a chance.

When Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Bush and the orchestrated choir of believers all shout that it's better to fight the terrorists in Iraq than in our homeland - this is what they're talking about. The master plan; the grand scheme, the genius of George Bush. That’s why they lied about WMDs and all of the reasons for war. Don't you see? It's all about herding the terrorists into Iraq and then wiping them off the face of the planet.

This is the reason why we’ve got to put aside our partisan politics, our satirical chimp licks and our well honed cynicism. It's time to admit that he's not an idiot, but an idiot savant. George Bush, through his 20 moves ahead geo-strategic chess game has out maneuvered, out thought and out played every last one of us.

And maybe it has cost tens of thousands of lives, hundreds of billions of dollars and all of our credibility and respect in the world, but in the end, if it rids the world of the international terrorist network of evil, we'll have to say, like the President, that it was worth it.
It's time to admit that George Bush is a genius. He may be a mad genius. But, he's our mad genius.

update:


If you haven't had a chance to read this chick's blog (http://angryblackbitch.blogspot.com/) you really should head on over there NOW. She's always so on point and hilarious about all this crap (and more). (I love how she calls him "Scooter" - fits perfectly)

I was waiting on her take of last night's "come to Jesus" chat Georgie had with the nation and she didn't let me down. Herewith I present AngryBlackBitch.

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